were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
