I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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