Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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