we have officially lost it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
