that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
