i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
