a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize