I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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