i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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