Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
