I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
now i know why i became what i already was.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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