i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So squirting runs in the family.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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