I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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