GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
