You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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