She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
