I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My bed smells like the plague
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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