Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
