i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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