She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
