Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
