on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
