I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
