you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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