That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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