My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
