Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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