why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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