Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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