the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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