You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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