My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
