you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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