I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
