My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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