You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
