i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
