He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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