I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
