the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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