Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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