I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
