You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
