marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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