you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
