Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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