Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
