what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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