where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
