I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
