we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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