I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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