not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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