Nicole vs. Life
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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