I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
