As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize