Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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