Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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