i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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